Once, Herm ate some toasted potato farls, whatever "farls" are, for breakfast.
Then it was off to work, on the way discovering that the local Sainsbury had started stocking Dr Pepper Zero, a fact that was more than acceptable to Herm.
Herm subsequently looked up "farl" on dictionary.com and discovered it was a Scots word for "a thin, circular cake of flour or oatmeal" -- BUT THESE HAD BEEN SQUARE. AND 91% POTATO1.
"Fraudulent farls!" Herm exclaimed with a stroke of the chin. "Bogus breakfast!"
This merited further investigation. Possibly involving butter, egg and vegetarian sausage.
1 Herm was one of those inquiring souls who check these things on the backs of packets.